


infactuation

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: AU, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Suicide, Recreational Drug Use, Tattoo Artist Luke, ill add more later idk, mentions of noncon, punk!luke, punk!luke hemmings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-26 08:49:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1682243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me,” Luke whispers, thumb ghosting over Ashton's damp cheek. Luke presses a light kiss to his forehead and Ashton screws his eyes shut, burying his head into Luke's chest.</p><p>Ashton keeps his problems buried, Luke wears his heart on his sleeve. </p><p>or the one where Luke is a punk tattoo artist and Ashton likes to think he's better than him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i

triggers: none

"Just- it'll be, like,  _ten_  minutes. I promise." Niall assured, walking up the steps. "I've just got to run in and chat to this guy-," Ashton cuts him off.

"Why am I here, then?" The works come out harsher than he wants them to, but he can't help it. This neighborhood doesn't exactly have the best reputation- not to mention the fact that its getting late and Ashton just wants to go  _home_.

Niall rolls his eyes- Ashton can't see it, but he knows he's doing it- and continues to lead Ashton up the driveway. The house is quite small albeit it being two stories, packed between two other identical ones. He can't imagine four people living inside there (Niall told him all about Michael and Luke and Calum and Harry, all living packed into one house because they had already been friends, not to mention it was substantially cheaper than living each on their own). 

He's not surprised when they enter and its a mess. "Hey, Niall!" A boy with spiky colored hair smoking a cigarette smiles as he walks in. Niall gives a similar greeting- this one is Michael. 

"This is my buddy Ashton. Ash, Mike, Mike, Ash." Niall quickly introduces. "You got any idea where Harry is?"

"Up here!" A deep british accent calls from upstairs and suddenly Niall's leaving him, running up the stairs, leaving Ashton alone with someone he didn't know. Michael held his cigarette out towards Ashton.

"Wanna hit?" He asks, leaning towards Ashton. Ashton turns his nose up and looks away. 

"I don't smoke." He says, moving across the room and leaning against the wall with his hands crossed over his chest. Michael gave Ashton a look like,'Yeah, right," and took another drag, leaning back onto the couch again. The front door opens and Ashton tenses. He doesn't want someone else here. Michael doesn't even move- he stays in his spot and glances lazily over to the doorway.

Ashton doesn't want to admit that the person standing in the doorway is drop dead gorgeous, from the blonde hair to the eyes that would put the oceans to shame, all the way to his broad shoulders and pretty pink lips, punctuated with a, lord help him, lip ring. Ashton pulls his eyes away from him, looking at the filthy condo. Ashton steals glances at him as he makes his way over to Michael. 

"How'd it go? Wha's it look like?" Michael says excitedly, leaning forwards and pulling the fag out of his mouth. Blondie just smiles timidly, tossing his phone and wallet onto the couch and starting to unbutton his shirt. Ashton swallows and plays with the collar of his tee-shirt, trying to pry his eyes away from Blondie. He finally flicks the last button of his shirt through the hole and slips it completely off, revealing a tattooed, and very toned, chest. There's saran wrap around his chest and he turns and lifts his arm. On his left side, theres some black line work. It's flowers, Aston realizes. On top, a loopy scroll spells out 'Jenna', and on the bottom theres some number that Ashton can't quite make out. 

"Michael!" A voice- not Harry's- calls from upstairs. 

"Calum!" Michael calls back, taking a hit from his cigarette as he looks over Luke's tattoo. 

The voice- Calum- yells something about dirty underwear and Michael sighs, putting his cigarette out on an overflowing ash try and makes his way upstairs. Luke turns to Ashton. 

"Well, not that I'm particularly opposed to having strange cute boys on my house, who're you?" Luke is slipping his flannel back on, and Ashton wishes he wouldn't.

Ashton almost can't formulate a response(which is odd in itself, not only because he's getting flustered over another guy calling him cute but also because Ashton doesn't get nervous around people) before muttering out his name. Luke laughs, and Ashton feels like he wants to sink into the floor.

"You could at least  _act_  like you aren't terrified," Luke states, slipping his arm through the sleeve and leaving it hanging. Ashton appreciated the gesture. Ashton swallowed and looked up at him, making eye contact. 

"Excuse me?"

"You look like you're about to have heart attack. I won't stab you, calm down. I'm nice to the cute ones." Luke smiles. "And, again, not that I don't appreciate you being here- wait. Are you a stripper? Is it my birthday?" Luke smiles hopefully as Ashton scowls. 

"Thats pathetic." Ashton scoffs, looking away. 

"Seriously, why're you here?" Luke laughs, sitting down where Michael had previously been. He picks up Michael's discarded cigarette, theres just enough left from him to wrap his lips around, and inhales. Luke nods to the other side of the dirty couch, but Ashton stays still. Luke searches through his pockets and pulls out another fag and lights up. 

"Niall was taking me home and had to take a stop off here to talk to someone." Ashton explains quietly, swallowing thickly. Ashton yawns shortly after and clicks his phone on. It reads 11:43, and Ashton has 17 minutes to get home. A look of concern makes its way onto Ashton's face. Luke notices, and Ashton finds it slightly endearing. 

"Wha's wrong?"

"I'm gonna miss my curfew." Ashton admits with a sigh. Luke smiles, amused.

"Where do you live? I could take you."  Luke says, matter-of-factly and quite smug.

Ashton swallows. He doesn't necessarily want to tell Luke where he lives, he's doesn't know Luke, doesn't know his morals. At the same time, Niall doesn't seem like he's coming down any time soon and the times ticking away. 

"Fine. 4th Street and Emery." Ashton says, striding across the room to the door, trying to make it seem like he's confident about his decision. As he waits for Luke to button up his shirt and meet him at the door, he sends Niall a text that he was going home. 

Luke opens the door and lets Ashton go first. Ashton pretends to roll his eyes. 

When they get to the bottom of the driveway, there were no other cars, other than the ones Ashton had seen when he and Niall had arrived. Luke just keeps leading, over to a motorcycle. 

Ashton's never ridden a motorcycle, so he drops the 'I'm-better-than-you-bunch-of-nasty-street-rats' facade and gratefully accepts Luke's helmet. Luke chuckles as he gets on, scooting to the very front. Ashton is hesitant, and Luke reminds him that he 'doesn't bite the cute ones'. 

Ashton doesn't want to admit he likes it when Luke calls him cute.

Ashton hops onto the back and isn't quite sure what to do with his arms. "Put your arms around me." Luke says and starts moving backwards. Ashton nearly jumps out of his skin and clutches Luke to himself. Luke visivly cringes, and Ashton remembers the tattoo. He loosens his arms and pulls back a bit, apologetically. 

"No, no, do it. It's just a bit sore, is all." Luke nods and then they're racing off down the street. Ashton pulls himself flush against Luke's back again, trying to touch his left side as little as possible. It's cold, very, very cold and Ashton is 95% sure they're going  _way_  over the speed limit. Faster than any car ride half that distance, they're pulling up to Ashton's street and he points out his house. Luke pulls up and Ashton gets off shakily. 

"Thank you." Ashton doesn't look at him when he speaks and holds the helmet out. As soon as its out of his hand, he's walking up the driveway. 

"Gas ins't free, you know!" Luke calls. Ashton turns and crosses his arms. "I don't get any payment." Ashton scoffs and rolls his eyes, walking back over and pulling out his wallet. "Your number'll be fine." Luke says smugly. Ashton glares at him. Luke reaches over and pulls Ashton's phone and a pen (Ashton scowls. Luke was expecting him to give up his number.) and writes it down on his hand. He holds out the phone again and Ashton snatches it back. He quickly turns, and without another word, he's gone.


	2. ii

The next morning, Ashton walks into Starbucks with his book bag. He waits patiently in line and its finally his turn to order. Usually, he likes to flirt with the girl working in the mornings, Veronica, but today she just doesn't seem as pretty as she usually does. Maybe if she dyed her hair a little blonder, got some coloured contacts and pierced her lip, Ashton thinks, she'd be pretty. He doesn't realize until later that he just turned her into Luke.

After Ashton sits down and  pull out his Maths book, his phone vibrates and he fishes it out of his bag.

_«hey it's luke xx»_

Ashton ignores it, but puts Luke's name into the contact. He turns back to his notes and he has a few minutes of peace before the next text is received.

_«you know?? the one you were checking out last night ;)»_

Ashton flushes and takes another sip of his drink. He quickly types a reply.

_‹I was not checking you out.›_

Ashton attempts to turn back to his studying, but he's too busy anticipating Luke's reply.

_«i'm sure.»_

_«are you busy tonight?»_

Ashton is tempted to say yes, but he knows he'll end up watching re-runs of bad lifetime movies and complaining to Zayn and Louis about how no one likes him.

_‹Depends.›_

__«on what?»_ _

___‹Where I am/what I'm doing/who is asking.›_ _ _

_____«alright, princess. you free enough for a concert?»_ _ _ _ _

________‹Let me check my datebook.›_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ashton doesn't check. He knows he's free, but he figures he can't give Luke everything he wants. Not right away, at least.

___‹You're in luck. I'm free.›_ _ _

________«i'll pick you up at seven»_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ashton contemplates a reply, but doesn't he turns back to his book and drinks the rest of his mocha. He looks up briefly and the building is significantly emptier. Ashton feels panic and checks the time, he's fifteen minutes late to his first class. He curses loudly and a woman near him scowls. He jams his textbook and note[ad back into his bag and practically runs out the door. He realizes, halfway to the lecture hall, he forgot his phone and he has to run all the way back and pick it up. 

He blames Luke for making him late.

-

When seven rolls around, Ashton expects Luke to be late. To keep up his bad-boy-I-don't-care persona, Ashton figures. He's quite surprised, actually, when he hears a motorcycle rev in front of his house at 7:01. He yells upstairs to his mum that he was going out and doesn't wait for a response. Ashton takes a deep breath and sticks his chin up before he floats down to Luke. Luke pulls his helmet off and runs a hand through his hair, pushing his quiff back into place. He holds it out to Ashton, smirking. 

"Shut up." Ashton says, slipping the helmet on and hops onto the back of his bike again. He clutches onto Luke tightly, still conscious of his left side, as Luke revs the motorcycle again and speeds down the road. Ashton faintly wonders how the tattoo is doing, what it means, what colours it'll end up being.

The venue is quite small. Its a band Ashton doesn't know, but by the looks of the people there, they're rockish. Luke tells him the band name, Ghost Town, and that they're electronic-rock. There's a huge line, stretching down the streets of the block that the venue is on, and Ashton wonders how they're going to be able to see the band if they have to get in line. 

"Don't worry 'bout it." Luke says, taking his hand and walking them to the front of the line. "Wait a sec," Luke says when they're just out of earshot from the front door. He watches as Luke goes up to the girl watching the door and talks to her for a few minutes. He finally kisses her cheek and walks back holding two wristbands. 

"What was that about?" Ashton asks as Luke wraps the band around his wrist.

"Jealous?" Luke teases, pushing his own wristband onto his wrist. 

"In your dreams." Ashton scoffs. He's disappointed with his comeback, but it was the first thing that came to mind. When the doors open, Luke takes his hand and leads him inside amongst the crowd, nodding towards the girl as he pulls Ashton through the door. They get a good spot, a little back and a little left. It's not too crowded, and Ashton is thankful. The spot seems too good to be true, and it is. Ashton looks towards the stage and realizes he can't see. Everyone in front of him is taller than him. 

Ashton leans left and right to no avail. Luke holds out his hand. "Here," He says as Ashton takes it. He's not sure what he's expecting, but for Luke to pick him and put him on top of his shoulders is definitely not it. Luke holds his hands from is place beneath him as the music starts.

-

Ashton doesn't think he's ever had more fun. He's so high, off the music or Luke, he can't tell, he can't even bring himself to care when Luke lights up a cigarette while they're walking back to his bike. 

Luke laughs at how happy Ashton is. "I like this you," Luke admits, blowing out smoke and looking over to the brunette.

"What me?" Ashton laughs, leaning into Luke.

"This one. The happy you, the one who is not trying to make it seem like you're better than me. The one who's not pretending not to care. Did you get roofied or something?" Luke laughs and Ashton shakes his head.

"I don't think so." 

"Good, I'm not gonna get arrested then."

Ashton just laughs and lets Luke slip his fingers into Ashton's. 

-

"Can you drop me off around the corner?" Ashton yells over the roar or Luke's engine. Luke doesn't respond, but pulls over at the corner anyway. Ashton hops of and takes of the helmet, patting his hair back into place. 

"You're still in Narnia?" Luke asks, tucking the helmet under his arm.

"Excuse me?"

"Your parents don't know you like boys." Luke simplifies.

"What?!" Ashton sounds insulted. Luke gives him a look like 'duh,' and Ashton glares. "How would _you_ know that I'm gay? I'm not _gay_!" 

Luke steps off the bike and puts his helmet on the seat. "Ash, I know." Luke looks at him expectantly. "Of you weren't, you wouldn't've come with me tonight. On our date."

"Did you eat lots of paste as a child?" Ashton crosses his arms and Luke knows its back to I'm-better-than-you Ashton. "I am _not_ into you."

Luke steps forward and pulls Ashton's face in, kissing him. It's shallow, only lips, but Luke can feel Ashton submitting, feel Ashton kissing back.

Then, it's over. Ashton's shoving Luke backwards (he manages to right himself before he topples over the bike) and Ashton steps towards him and slaps him. Hard, right across the face. Luke holds his cheek, gaping and letting out a loose laugh as he watches Ashton storm away. Only a few steps away, Ashton turns and walks back to Luke. Luke cringes in anticipation, expecting yelling or another hit but doesn't expect Ashton pulling him down into another kiss. It's deeper than the last, but unfortunately shorter. Before it registers in Luke's mind, Ashton is gone, walking away and back towards his house. 

Luke rubs his jaw, leaning against his bike with his mouth hanging wide in a smile as he watches Ashton storm away. It's amusing, watching him. He pulls out his phone and types a new message. 

________«you're a good kisser.»_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 


	3. iii

Ashton never responds to the kissing text, but he did continue to text Luke for the rest of the week. It was mostly Ashton telling Luke about his classes and Luke sending Ashton bands to listen to and promising he'd take him to more concerts. He's getting into bed on Thursday when Luke texts him again.

« _we're having a party 2mrw night_ »

« _i want you to come_ »

‹I have to check with my mum.›

« _i think its adorable that you live with your mum_ »

‹Shut up.›

‹I'm moving out in like a week.›

« _i wont be able to stalk you anymore_ »

« _does this mean i can come in now?_ »

‹Boo hoo.›

‹And no.›

« _can you come to the party or not?_ »

Ashton contemplates telling him straight up no, but he resists.

‹I'll tell you in the morning.›

‹Goodnight.›

« _night gorgeous_ »

-

In the morning, Ashton gets ready like any other day and sits at the table with his mum and siblings. It's quiet, so Ashton decides its a fine time. "Mum, can I go to a party tonight?"

His mum looks skeptical. "Who're you hanging out with lately? Didn't you go out last week?" She asks, mouth full. 

Ashton swallows. "Just- some guy Niall is friends with. I thought you wanted me to make friends. Break out or whatever." Ashton tries to sound nonchalant.

"Alright, but I wanna make sure you're making good decisions. No drugs or drinking or anything, alright? Midnight curfew." Ashton's mother gives him a look, and Ashton nods obediently. 

"I'm glad you're making friends." She offers a small smile and takes a sip of her juice before standing up. "C'mon, kiddos, schools a'waitin." Ashton stays still and finishes his toast while his brother and sister get up and grab their bags. She pats Ashton's head as she makes her way to the door. "Be good," She reminds him for what seems like the millionth time.

‹I guess you got lucky again. I'll be there.›

-

Luke's in the middle of a job when Michael arrives and perches himself as on a nearby counter. 

"You're kidding. I thought I ditched you this morning," Luke teases, not looking up from the tattoo gun in his hand. 

"You're stuck with me, mate." Michael admits. "How'd asking your boyfriend out go?"

"Not my boyfriend," Luke reminds, disappointedly.

"Whatever, is the party on or not?"

"Yes, it is waiting to be initiated." 

"Sweet," Michael says, pulling out and Luke can hear tapping noises from behind him. "you are so whipped from someone who isn't even your boyfriend," Michael laughs and Luke sighs and pulls his gun off his client's arm. He looks back at Michael.

"I am _not_ whipped."

"You are _so_ whipped! You're throwing a party solely for the fact that he'd be there so you have a reason to talk to him." Michael laughs.

"I'm not whipped, I'm just-" He turns back to the client and begins tracing again,"he's _interesting_. You should've seen him the other night," Luke says dreamily.

"That's my cue," Michael says hurriedly, hopping off his place on the counter. "I will see you later, Hemmo."

"See you," Luke calls back, though Mike's already out the door.

-

When Ashton arrives at the house, the party is in full swing. There's a girl passed out on the lawn covered in bubbles, another girl bent over her and drawing on her stomach. People are poured onto the lawn and theres really, really loud music coming from inside. He walks up the path wishing he had ear plugs. He pushes int and immediately feels lonely. He just wants to find Luke. He hates that he does, but he just wants to find Luke. 

Ashton wanders for a few minutes, going upstairs and back down and outside and into the back yard before he realizes theres a basement- which makes sense, because upstairs he found only three beds. He wanders around and finds the door to the basement in their small kitchen, so he grabs a drink while he's in there. He walks up to what he assumes in the door before going back and grabbing another beer, that way he has a reason to talk to Luke. 

He walks through the door and sure enough, the basement is smoky and he suddenly hears a chorus of 'Oohs,' then Luke laughing. He moves off the last step and see's Michael chugging something out of a red cup. Luke is just settling onto the couch and a blonde trailing after him. She joins him, sitting into the seat on his right and leaning into him. 

When Luke sees Ashton, he flicks his tongue over his lip ring and smiles. Ashton takes this as a gesture to approach him. He hurriedly walks across the room and the rest of the seats fill up around Luke, Ashton left standing. The blonde next to him is giving a challenging look to him and he does what he can to ignore her. 

Luke sees Ashton's seating predicament and takes a drink from him before pulling Ashton into his lap. "Glad you could make it," Luke admits, smiling up at Ashton as if they're the only two in the room. 

Ashton smiles a bit and lifts his cup. Luke taps the edge of his cup against the others and brings it to his lips. 

Someone to the side of him lets out a big sigh and he breaks his and Luke's prolonged eye contact in time to see Michael, who is directly beside the two boys, taking a hit from a joint. 

Ashton knew he was going to drink when he promised his mum he wouldn't just that earlier, but, honestly, had no intention of doing drugs. Ashton's 'wild side' was being minorly drunk at the once-in-a-blue-moon parties he went to. He's never even taken a drag of a cigarette and now he was about to be forced into smoking pot.

Luckily, Luke saved him. Michael held the joint out for him and Luke reached around and took it. Ashton notices the tattoo on his hand- an anatomical heart. Ashton wonders why he got it. 

Luke brings the paper to his lips and inhales, pinching Ashton's side to bring his attention back to his eyes. They regain eye contact as Luke pulls the paper away from his mouth and holds it out to the blonde. She recoils and a tan boy takes it instead. 

Ashton, being distracted by the path of the paper towards the tan guy, doesn't notice Luke pulling him down. Luke pulls them into an open-mouthed kiss and exhales, blowing narcotic smoke into Ashton's mouth. Ashton almost drops his drink in shock and pulls away. The kiss was longer and deeper than both the one's they'd shared a week ago.

Ashton is blushing the next time the joint comes around. Luke picks it up again for him, although this time he holds it up to Ashton's lips. Ashton's since loosened up and takes it between his lips. Luke almost laughs at how awkward Ashton looks, instead just shaking his head with a smile as he pulls it away. Before Ashton can exhale the smoke, Luke's passed the paper along and placed his lips upon Ashton's, letting Ashton exhale into Luke's mouth now. Ashton's got a buzz now, everything feels fine and great and dandy and fantastic and he lets Luke kiss him.

He lets Luke kiss him a lot, actually, for the rest of the night. When they're smoking and when Luke is playing beer pong, in between throws and drink and another _extra_ -long one when Luke wins. He lets Luke bring him drinks and he lets Luke hold joints up to his lips and get him snacks (because Ashton's never had the munchies and Luke decides to change that) and follows Luke around like a lost puppy.

Ashton's never had a better night his entire life.

Albeit, Ashton's never been high, never been more than a little tipsy and definitely not drunk off his ass and high at the same time. He's doesn't think he's  _that_ high or that  _drunk_ , and if he's going to admit anything he'll be admitting to being high off Luke. It's the truth, though, in these moments Ashton would probably do anything Luke wanted him. Every kiss feels euphoric, every touch electrifying and Ashton won't admit it, but he's quite enjoying the smoke kisses. _  
_

The night won't go on forever, mush to Ashton and Luke's disappointment. Luke calls Ashton a cab and Ashton stumbles in the door sometime shortly after four a.m., smelling like stale cigarettes and sweat. He's lucky, his mum obviously didn't wait up and he's able to slip into his room unnoticed.

The night stops being worth it when Ashton wakes up.

His head feels like he's gotten hit by a train then trampled by an elephant, his own scent finally reaches his nose and his stomach decides its closing shop and everything needs to leave. Theres only one good thing and one moderately-okay things that morning, the fact that his mum apparently took his siblings out and a new text, respectively. When he figures there can't possibly be anything eft in his stomach, he removes himself from the bathroom floor afetr cleaning himself and checks his phone.

« _wanna get lunch?_ »

Its from Luke and the times already half past noon. Instead of struggling to type a response, he opts for calling the blonde.

"Lucas speaking," is the first response he gets and he turns the volume on his phone way, way down. 

"It's Ashton,"

"Hey, party animal," Luke's laughing and Ashton furrows his eyebrows.

"Excuse me?"

"Last night you were  _everywhere_." Luke supplies and Ashton can hear the smile.

"What?!"

"Yeah. Beer pong, weed, making out, Jesus, you got up on a table once."

Ashton is silent for a moment. "Fuck." Theres another pause. "Who'd I kiss?"

"Yours truly."

Ashton's silent for a long time again. "Hello?" Luke asks. Ashton lays back on his bed and puts the back of his hand over his eyes.

"Hi." Ashton replies, cringing slightly. 

"Yeah, well, I get off in twenty minutes. Wanna grab lunch?" Ashton suddenly realizes how fucking hungry he really is, and even food with _Luke_ seems good now.

"Yeah, yeah.Text me?" Ashton sighs the last part, like going out with him is a drag. 

"Gladly," And then Luke hangs up and Ashton groans loudly.

He's slightly angry at Luke. He doesn't know why he won't leave him alone and why Ashton can't seem to say  _no_ to him. He kind of think it's a joke, that Luke is just messing with him and it'll be over in a week. Part of Ashton hopes so, while the other part dreads the thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not exactly happy with this either but i'm happy enough. also, i'm trying to lengthen up the chapters a bit. the two previous ones were ~1200 and this one is ~1700. hopefully i'll be writing 2k chapters soon. opps for less frequent updates.  
> also in case you haven't noticed these are all un-beta'd. someone be my beta.


	4. iv

Ashton arrives first. 

Its a little cafe off a main road, quiet and comfy despite it's busy surroundings. He opted for sitting outside so that he could wear his sunglasses without looking like an asshole, completely not because he thinks Luke is hot when he smokes. 

He's scrolling through his twitter log while he waited. He's pulled out of his trance when a body walks up to him.

"Ashton?" It's not Luke. The voice is too high. 

He looks up, and its the blonde girl who sat next to Luke last night.

"Uh, hi." He says. He never got to talk to her, he thinks. He suddenly worries if he had sex with her before leaving.

She pastes on a sickly sweet smile and slips into the seat across him and rests her face on her hands, elbows on the table. "I saw you with Luke last night." She almost giggles. Ashton just stays quiet, slightly guilty. He remembers Luke being onto him, but maybe Luke was trying to get back at this girl. Maybe this was Luke's girlfriend.

"And I just want to say," She pauses, and Ashton realizes it's only been a few seconds. "stay away from him." She smiles again.

"What?"

"Look, I know you're all sinny and whatever, but Luke is straight. He's my boyfriend." A confused look decorated Ashton's face,"Well, not right now, I mean, we broke up, but he's done this before." She sighs dramatically. "Anyway, what I mean is that Luke's straight. He's really straight, and I'd like you to back off. I mean, look at him, and look at you. You can't really think he's into you!" She giggled again. Ashton wonders how long aggravated assault gets you in jail. "So, anyway, yeah. Enjoy your lonely lunch." She blows him a kiss and hops out of her seat, sauntering away. 

Ashton's left with his thought for a few more minutes before Luke shows up, and he slips into the seat Aleisha just left.

"Hey, babe," Luke says and Ashton scowls. 

"Why me?" He asks, not a second later.

"What?" Luke asks, leaning back and pulling a fag out of his pocket.

"Why'd you choose me or whatever? To suddenly throw yourself onto or whatever,"

Luke laughs and sets the stick between his lips and pats himself for a lighter. He comes up empty and he pulls it out of his mouth and sets the tip over the flame of the candle and lights it that way. He takes a drag before talking,"What brought this up?" Luke asks, leaning back in his chair. 

"An old friend." Ashton says, swallowing.

"Was it Aleisha?" 

"Who?"

"Blonde, yay tall," he holds his hand up,"blue eyes, giggles too much?" Ashton nods. "Yeah, ignore her." Luke shakes his head. "She's my ex-girlfriend and she's a bit hung up over me." He explains unapologetically. 

"Oh," Ashton says, then realizes that didn't actually answer his question and the possibility of Luke using him as a rebound was still very, very likely,but it doesn't answer my question."

Luke smiles at him and lazily exhales smoke. "You're interesting." Ashton's confused face must've spoken for him, because Luke spoke again. "You think you are so much better than me and my friends. At first I wanted to know simply why, then how you violently rejected the idea of liking me, then after the concert and you just seemed like you had just fucking solved all the worlds problems, then again last night. You could not get enough of me." Ashton flushed and Luke laughed. "I wanna know why. You're interesting and complex and confusing and beautiful." He shrugs and puts the fag back between his lips. "It's great."

Ashton swallowed, cheeks in a deep red blush. He opened his mouth to speak, but a waitress came over and asked what they'd like. "Uh, Caesar salad with dressing on the side, please." Ashton stuttered slightly, looking away. 

"I'll get a burger." Luke shrugged. 

She smiled, took their menus and left and Ashton had to keep finding things to look at, to keep him away from Luke's fond gaze. Ashton took a sip of his water. When did that get there? He kept his eyes on the ice as he spoke. "What are we, then?" He cocked his head to the side a little at the end, continuing to look away from him. 

"What do you want us to be? You kind of have to admit you like guys to have a boyfriend." Luke leaned onto the table, keeping his eyes on Ashton.

"What makes you think I want you to be my boyfriend?"

"Sorry, what? I couldn't hear you over the sound of your tongue in my mouth." Luke chuckles, tapping his fingers on the tabletop.

Ashton can't think of a reply. He really doesn't want to admit it, really can't. He doesn't like boys, he can't like boys. He's not Luke, he can't just not care about what people say.

"I'm not trying to force you out or anything," Luke assured, lazily swinging his cigarette around,"but you do deserve your own honesty. The reaction probably be better than you think, I mean, most people don't care as long as you're not, like, bangin' guys in front of them." Ashton looks at Luke's hand, it's the opposite of the one from last night. He remembers the heart tattoo. This one has a skull, and he wants to ask what it means. He wants to ask what the skull means and what the heart means and who is Jenna and why does she have flowers what do the numbers mean why does she get your entire side. Ashton wants to be important to Luke, wants Luke to get something of Ashton written on his body forever.

The waitress comes back to the table with their food and Luke smiles and thanks her. Ashton just smiles tightly. When she leaves, he pours on his dressing as Luke cuts his burger in half. "I'm not gay," He says as he stabs his salad violently, as if it'd make him less terrified of coming out.

Luke just laughs. "Did you ask for your dressing on the side just to pour it on?"

Ashton shakes his head. "When they put it on back there, they have to let it sit and it makes the croutons soggy." Ashton explains, finally going up to meet Luke's eyes through his glasses. Luke snubs out his cigarette before taking a bite of his burger. 

Luke can't believe he's falling on love with a boy who feels the need to put his own dressing on his salads.

-

"So, who's this Luke character you've been ditching us for?" Liam asks, walking in step with Ashton and Niall. Ashton had found out only minutes before that Niall didn't even really know Harry well, much less Luke, and was just dropping something off for a friend and they had started talking a bit.

"I'm not ditching you," Ashton said, even though he'd probably blow them off a thousand more times to hang out with Luke for just a moment. 

Niall laughed loudly. "Mate, it's all the time! 'I can't, I'm going to a concert with Luke, I can't I'm going to lunch with Luke, I can't I'm with Luke,'," Niall mocked. He had used the last two much more, the occasional dinner tossed in, in the last week since Luke had invited him out to eat for the first time.

"He's just a friend," Ashton's voice was small and he looked at the ground.

"Friend? From where?" Liam almost laughed and Ashton swallowed. He brushed his bangs out of his face and kept looking down. 

"Mutual friends," It wasn't technically a lie.

"So, wait," Niall said, looking over at Ashton in disbelief,"you've known this guy for, what? A month or so? and you're already ditching us for him?" He turned to Liam and laughed,"Imagine when he gets a girlfriend," Liam laughs too.

"It'll be back to the two of us." Liam chuckles and Ashton knows its in good nature but he doesn't really want to talk about Luke, which is a first in the past month. 

"Didn't you say he had a lip piercing and tattoos," Liam motioned to his arms, and Ashton nodded. "So you're hanging out with some, like, heavy metal guy?"

"What? No, no, he's not like that. He's sweet." Ashton says. 

"A sweet guy who does drugs?"

Ashton stayed quiet. 'Yes,' he wanted to say,but he stayed quiet. "I like him," Ashton shrugged.

Niall and Liam both laughed and Ashton pursed his lips and pulled out his phone. There was a new text.

« _you busy tonite?_ »

Ashton quickly locked it and put it back into his pocket. "Who was that?" Liam asked, nodding towards his phone.

"My mum," Ashton said quickly, and for a moment he thought he'd spoken too fast and Liam and Niall are going to realize it's Luke and they're going to know, they'll know what he' been so desperately trying to hide-

"Ash?" It's Liam. Ashton's head shoot up. "You alright?"

"Yeah." Ashton shook his head. "Wha'd you say?"

"Did you want to come over?" 

He thinks about Luke's text. "Can't. My mum wants me home," He tries to look like he's actually sorry.

"Next week then?" He asks and Stops on the corner.

"Mhm." Ashton nods, and then Liam and Niall are on their way down the street and Ashton starts in the other direction. He pulls his phone out of his pocket.

‹I am.›

« _can u meet me in an hour and half_ »

‹Sure. For what?›

« _its a surprise_ »

Ashton doesn't respond after that, simply putting in his earbuds and continuing down his walk. He listens to some of the bands Luke has been telling him about- You Me At Six, Mayday Parade and All Time Low and Sleeping With Sirens and Pierce the Veil and The Story So Far and- well, Ashton's kind of re-invented his music taste since he met Luke. He walks up the stairs to his new apartment. 

-

A bit over an hour and sever less-than-ambiguous questions(« _do u like red or white wine_ » « _are you allergic to anything????_ »), a car pulls up to his house. He disregarded it, knowing Luke didn't even have a car. Even then, a knock on his door came moments later. 

"Ashton," Luke groans from outside the door. He jumps up and practically runs to the door.

"Hi," Ashton says, almost in disbelief. 

"Hi," Luke chuckles, and he leans in and Ashton lets him kiss him quickly before pushing Luke back slightly by the shoulder and pulling away. 

Luke turns and holds his hand out. "C'mon," He prompts and Ashton grabs his hand. 

"Where're we going?" Ashton chuckles.

"I borrowed Mike's car and I'm taking you out," Luke explains, making his way down the steps and towards the car. 

"But where are we going?" Ashton asks again.

"Do you get what a surprise means?" Luke asks, shaking his head. 

"I'm not gonna get stabbed or anything, right?" 

Luke laughs and opens the door. "No, you won't,"

Ashton's not expecting what happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost 2k words!!!!!!!!!! /screams   
> what do you think lucas is gonna do oooooooooooo
> 
> ALSO I APOLOGIZE FOR ALEISHA'S STEREOTYPICAL PERSONALITY BUT I NEEDED HER LIKE THAT 
> 
>  
> 
> someone be my beta


	5. v

Two hours later, both filled with 'Are we there yet?'s, 'How much longer?'s, and 'Where are we going?'s, Luke pulled the car to a stop. He had parked it backwards, the only thing they could see was the dry Australian skyline.  

"Thank the Lord," Ashton sighed, opening his door. Luke's hand shot out and held him still.

"Wait," Luke said, quickly turning the car off and pulling out the keys before running around to the other side of the car. Ashton suspected he was going to be cheesy and open his door for him, but Luke passed him and opened the back door. 

Mike's car was big. It was the kind soccer moms had, with the big backs and the back seats that could lie down and make a big room. 

"What're you doing?" Ashton asks, twisting around in his seat to try and see what exactly Luke's getting himself into. 

"Don't look!" Luke insists and he pulls two things out of the car. Ashton catches a glimpse, he thinks they're coolers. 

"Lucas, my legs are cramping," Ashton groans. Luke sighs and opens his door next, scooping Ashton into his arms and carrying him to the front of the car, continuing to make sure he hadn't been looking. He put him down on the hood and told him again to stay before walking back over to the car and rummaging around in the back again. 

Just a few minutes later, Luke came and helped Ashton off the hood and led him to the back. 

The trunk was open, and the back few seats had been laid flat. Blankets littered the back, as well as a few pillows, all looking word and  _comfy._ He had been right about the coolers, there were two stacked on top of each other next to the car. The back was spacious enough for two people to lie comfortably, and the two boys did. Their view was the Australian skyline, looking straight over the water and onto the sky- painted yellows and oranges and blue and purple-, Luke thought it was almost as pretty as Ashton, but resisted saying it because of how Goad awful cheesy it sounded. 

Luke lets Ashton settle in first before sitting up and flicking open the first cooler. He pulls out two cups and a bottle of wine, pulling the cork out with his teeth and spitting it into the field. 

"I didn't know you were into wine," Ashton laughs. 

"I figured it was more romantic than tequila." Luke takes a swig from the bottle then pours it into the two glasses and hands one to Ashton.

Luke settles in beside Ashton and Luke pulls him into his side, re-arranging pillows as he does. They sit and drink(they eventually eat, its pasta and chicken that Luke made himself and Ashton tells him 'it's not that bad' when he actually really loves it and Luke feeds him and Ashton loves that too.), and Luke is glad he brought more than one bottle of wine. They eventually slip under one of the plush blankets and Luke kisses Ashton's neck lazily and Ashton blushes and pushes him away. It goes on like this and soon the sky is dark and they're both dozing off. 

"Will you tell me about your tattoos?" Ashton asks suddenly, still looking straight out and into the starry skyline. 

"Sure,"

Ashton pulls their hands out from the blanket and plays with Luke's hands. "What about these?"

Luke lifts up his left hand. "This one is heart," he does the same with his right,"and this is mind. If I ever need to decide to use my heart,"he nudges Ashton with his nose,"or my head. When I have to decide, I just play with my hands then look down and whichever ones on top, I decide." He says.

"What about the one on your side?" Ashton looks up at him. "Who's Jenna?"

Ashton suddenly regrets it. Luke looks so terrified and embarrassed. 

"It's-," Ashton starts to say, but Luke cuts him off.

"When I was 17, I came out to my family." Luke sounds like he's in pain. "And, when I told them I was bi they just said that I was confused and I was trying to rebel and all this crap." Luke shook his head. "So, I just kinda dealt with it. Skip a few months, my parents caught me making out with a dude in my room. They kicked him out and then to me they said that they either wanted me out or they were going to send me to some anti-gay camp where they'd 'fix' me.

"So, I moved out. Got a job at the parlor, moved in with Mike and Cal and Harry. Dammit, I should've stayed. Jen was my sister. She like, had depression and she just- I should've stayed. She only told me, she didn't want our parents to worry about her and- she thought they'd send her off to an asylum or somethin'. I hadn't talked to her in a while 'cause of all the stuff with moving and all. I-I came over and I went up and-and she was just hanging there." Luke shook his head. "Just- she was just hanging. It was terrifying." Luke reaches over and pulls Ashton's drink out of his hand and downs the rest of an almost full cup. 

"I-I'm so sorry." Ashton looks terrified himself, looking up at Luke with some sort of mixture of sympathy and terror and sadness and regret. Luke sucks air in through his teeth sharply and cocks his head to the side while chuckling humorlessly. 

"Not your fault." is all he says. "So I got her flowers. It was a few years ago, but I just now kinda found the courage to do it. Plus I couldn't find an idea." he shakes his head again and continues looking blankly at the skyline. 

Ashton stays quiet, even though he want to ask about the knife with the quote on his forearm and the moon on his back and a thousand other questions about all his other tattoos. He stays quietly, sat in his own embarrassment. 

Luke runs a finger under both his eyes, brushing away the tears that have gathered there. Ashton feels worse and be curls up more, shying away from Luke just a bit. 

Luke suddenly sits up and Ashton thinks he's mad- he can see it, Luke turning around and screaming at him then hitting him and slamming the trunk and speeding drunk back into the city. Luke simply picks up one cooler at a time and puts them on the two front wants before closing the door and lying back down. "We should sleep." He says curtly, pulling away some of the throw pillows and lying down, back facing Ashton. 

Ashton feels sick with guilt and worry. His hand is shaking as he tentatively reaches out to maybe rub Luke's back or run his hand up his side or possibly even hold his hand. Before Ashton is able to make contact, Luke flips over and Ashton draws his hand back at lightning speed. Luke hugs Ashton into him again and Ashton feels a bit of relief that Luke doesn't completely hate him for asking a stupid question about his dead sister. He can feel Luke try to steady his body from the small sobs that rack it, can hear his sniffling, can feel him attempting to swallow his cries back down.

Ashton feels sick to his stomach.

The night was supposed to be perfect, and it was, until Ashton had to ruin it. Ashton made Luke-tattooed, cocky, sweet Luke- sob. Ashton wraps his arms around Luke's torso and pulls him in and Ashton buries his head into Luke's chest and rubs his back. 

Ashton doesn't fall asleep until well after Luke cries himself to sleep.

-

In the morning, Luke wakes up first. His eyes are still puffy and he's sure its well past noon. He stays still for a while, playing with Ashton's hair and looking at Ashton and taking him in. 

He wishes he could wake up every day like this. 

Eventually, Luke gets up and starts getting ready to leave, saving waking Ashton up for last. He sits outside the car and smokes as he looks out at the skyline and thinks- about Jen, about his parents, about Ashton.

"Hey," Ashton sounds groggy behind him and Luke turns around. 

"Hey, sleeping beauty." Luke chuckles. 

Ashton pats the blankets beside him and nods his head towards them. Luke drops his cigarette and snuffs it out in the dirt. He climbs back into the car and settles in beside him again. 

"When'd you wake up?"

"Hour or so ago." Luke shrugs. 

"What time is it?" And Ashton stretches his back and rubs an eye. 

"Noon-ish. After." Ashton just nods and looks up at Luke.

He's silent for a long moment. "What are we?"

Luke shrugs. "Michael calls you my boy toy." He chuckles. "What do you want us to be?"

Ashton shakes his head. "I don't know." Luke laughs and kisses him lightly. 

"C'mon. We've got a long drive back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont like the end but i'm gonna deal with it lmao  
> super big apologizes for typos bc i wrote some of this on my phone sorry baes.
> 
> someone be my beta !!!!!!


End file.
